Parents have the power to prevent underage drinking

By Rebecca Smith

One of the saddest
things we see in substance
abuse prevention is that
many parents aren’t
empowered to take the
necessary steps to discipline
their child when they
suspect an issue with alcohol
or drug abuse.
Either parents don’t
think they have the right
to discipline an older teen
or they’re afraid that by
disciplining them, they
will push them away.
But there are so many
stories of parents who lost
their teen to drug or alcohol
use who said they
regretted not disciplining
their child enough, and no
one wants those tragic stories
to keep happening.
One story that sticks out
in my mind is a mother,
Debbie Taylor, speaking at
a Mother’s Against Drunk
Driving (MADD) event,
telling the story of her son
who died from alcohol
poisoning when he and his
friends decided to have a
“contest” to see who could
drink the most.
“Casey, my oldest son,
was a ‘good kid’ — on the
honor roll every semester,
in the marching band, in
choir, and on the wrestling
and football teams,” she
said. “I never really worried
about him throughout
high school.
“I had the false sense of
security that he had the
maturity to drink alcohol
even though he was
underage, but I was
wrong. Casey died from
alcohol poisoning at the
age of 18.
“I never talked to Casey
about alcohol. If I had it all
to do over again? I would
have been very clear that
underage drinking was
unacceptable.
“When I found that bottle
of rum Casey had hidden
in my garage, I would
have taken it out and set it
on my kitchen counter. We
would have discussed why
I did not want him drinking.
I would have spoken
to him about alcohol more
often. As a result, I believe
Casey would be alive
today.”
To be sure, parenting is a
balance, and no one can
expect to get it right 100
percent of the time.
MADD’s Power of Parents
program talks about four
different types of parenting:
authoritarian, overprotective,
permissive, and
positive.
Authoritarian parents
are the over-controlling
types who scream “My
way or the highway!”
Unfortunately, research
shows that children of
these types of parents are
the ones who tend to binge
drink.
Overprotective parents
try to protect their kids
from reality in a way that’s
unhealthy. Kids of these
kinds of parents might
panic when they are put in
a situation that’s stressful.
Permissive parents don’t
communicate any expectations
or boundaries, and
don’t help guide their child
in problem-solving.
Again, research shows that
the teens of these kinds of
parents have a higher
blood-alcohol content
when they drink.
The one type of parenting
associated with a child
who makes good decisions
is positive parenting.
“Positive parents take an
active role in teaching
responsibility,” according
to MADD’s Power of
Parents handbook. “They
set clear expectations
about behavior, such as
waiting until age 21 before
drinking alcohol. They
explain reasons behind
their expectations and
encourage their children
to talk about any concerns.
They set and enforce consequences
before agreements
are not met.”
Parenting is hard—I
don’t think anyone would
debate that. And even
doing the right thing
might make your teen
angry. They may scream
or cry, say they hate you,
or not speak to you. But
while they’re alive, there is
always hope that the relationship
can be restored.